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The Best Ways to Orgasm

The Best Ways to Orgasm

There are tons of tricks, tips, and techniques to help you orgasm. These include things like doing Kegel exercises to increase pelvic floor muscle strength and improve blood flow to your clitoris.

But the classic advice of just “relax, and it’ll happen” is straight-up wrong. Here are expert-backed ways to get yourself in the mood for a mindblowing orgasm.

1. Focus on the sensations

The key to reaching orgasm is to be fully engaged with the pleasure of your body. To do this, you need to focus on the sensations in your genital area and let them build naturally. The feeling of tingling, warmth, or pressure in the vagina or clitoris is a sign that you are getting close to an orgasm. Using lubricant, whether you use gels or powders, is also very important to help stimulate the pleasure zones.

Using a vibrator or other sexual toys that target the vagina and clitoral area is another good way to increase your chances of getting an orgasm. Practicing different positions for orgasm such as woman-on-top, side-to-side, and doggy style can make it easier to get to the climax.

While there are many things you can do to try to get an orgasm, if you find that your attempts aren’t working, it may be helpful to talk with a healthcare provider. It is possible that you are suffering from a medical condition, like diabetes or hormone changes, or that you have side effects from medications that are making it difficult to reach orgasm.

The classic advice to just relax and it will happen is actually a lot of work. Trying to force orgasms is stressful and it can actually cause them not to occur. Instead, it’s best to try a variety of techniques and find what works for you.

2. Take a break

If you’re trying to reach orgasm during sex, it might take some time. That’s because orgasms can be hard to predict, and different people have a variety of sexual pleasure preferences. It’s also important to understand what makes you orgasm. Try masturbating with your fingers or a sex toy, and make sure to communicate with your partner about what you like.

One way to encourage orgasms during sex is to stimulate the clitoris. For women, this can be done manually (with your fingers or a vibrator) or with oral stimulation. The Kivin Method is an especially effective way to do this, since it focuses on stimulating the clitoris while you’re not on top.

Sometimes, you might orgasm a little bit too early and it will feel physically uncomfortable to continue. This can lead to a “half or disappearing orgasm,” which won’t give you the full-body sensations of an orgasm.

If this happens, it might help to focus on other aspects of the experience, such as your breath and how it’s changing as you get more excited. It might be useful to think about other things that you enjoy in the moment, like listening to music, and distract yourself. Then, when it feels right, you can resume the sexual activity and hope that your clitoris is more responsive.

3. Relax

Probably the most important thing to remember when it comes to orgasms is that you can’t force them. If you enter a sexual moment with the hopes of haphazardly arriving at pleasure, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and your partner, which can actually detract from the experience.

Instead, focus on the journey and derive pleasure from kissing, teasing, licking, foreplay, and more. Taking these steps will help you and your partner feel more relaxed and aroused—which is the perfect recipe for mindblowing orgasms.

Another helpful trick is controlling your breathing. Slow, deep breaths connect you back to your physical body and push away the distracting voices in your head. You can practice this anywhere—not just during sex or masturbation.

Some people find it helps to set the mood with sexy music, romantic scenes, or erotic fantasies. Others prefer visual stimulation. And, for some, the secret to an incredible orgasm is in stimulating new parts of their body that haven’t been touched before. For example, a clitoris specialist suggests trying to stimulate your pubic mound (aka the mons pubis). It can feel similar to stroking your penis and may help you reach orgasm. But be careful and only do this if you’re fully educated in the procedure. If you don’t know what you’re doing, it can cause damage and pain.

4. Experiment

Achieving orgasm can be a bit like a marathon, and you’ll want to build up your arousal gradually over time. Adding more foreplay (hugs, kissing, and cuddling) can help. This increases the oxytocin levels in your body, which can enhance pleasure during sex and make it last longer. Increasing the amount of self-stimulation can also help. Touching different parts of your body, rubbing your clitoris with a vibrator, or playing with a penis ring can increase the pleasure you feel during intercourse.

For some women, oral orgasms—fellatio or cunnilingus—are a big turn on and can lead to climax. Using your tongue to play with the anal canal can be fun, too. Just be sure to use plenty of lube, as the anal area is not accustomed to penetration and can tear easily.

Men typically reach orgasm easier than women, due to their anatomy. But for women, a little experimentation may open up a world of orgasm possibilities that will keep you coming back for more. And remember, there’s no such thing as a wrong orgasm, so go ahead and try something that sounds really good to you. You might find that it’s even better than you imagined. National Orgasm Day is July 31, and we hope you’ll celebrate it by doing what feels good! It might take some experimenting to get to the point of an orgasm, but it’s worth it.